Where did we leave off…..Oh yes I remember now.
I thought there were only “two major issues (that) stood in my way”. One, I am not interested in women my age; and two, I have a thing for Latinas. And remember, I have determined that my sweet spot was a Latina between 35 and 45.
I was so naive.
My mother and sister informed me that only a younger woman “not in her right mind” would be interested in a 55 year old man. In addition, if I even considered dating a woman younger than 40 then I was a “perv”.
I have never been called a perv before — and, no less, by my own sister.
A moment to “Talk” about online dating
I was committed to the process of online dating, I talked to many woman in short time span. And, of course, when I say “talked”, what I actually mean to say is electronic message. Little did I know that meeting in person is not the typical end game.
Most of the women seemed more interested in “online dating” than actually going out on a date. (Maybe it’s the same for most men?) I would compare online dating to having a gym membership and not actually going to the gym to work out.
The women who responded to me would ask a series of questions. The initial “meeting” — again what I actually mean to say is electronic messaging — was like an online job interview. Despite having a profile outlining my personal history and intentions, here are some of the questions: Why are you single? What are your intentions? How long were you married? What do you do for a living? How tall are you, really? How old are you, really? Are you looking to get married? And so on… I completed my online profile with all the details but I guess no one reads them.
The strangest question that I constantly was asked during the initial interview was: “You aren’t talking to other woman, are you?”. Of course I am, isn’t that why I am on a dating website? More often, than not, I would be reprimanded for my response of “yes I am”.
Here is what I Learned
Women my age (later 40’s and 50’s) who are US citizens and dating are looking for two things: Someone to marry or someone to give them financial support.
Women who are non-US citizens and living in the US or near the US border, regardless of age, are looking to become US citizens through marriage. They are looking for two things: Someone to marry or someone to give them financial support. They will promise almost anything to take care of their children or to send money back to their families back home.
In my book, neither are prospects for me. I am looking for women to date, to go out with and have fun. Nothing complicated, no long term relationship implied.
Virtually all of the women I communicated with had children and had previously been in at least one longer term relationship. These facts I expected.
What I didn’t expect was that these women had become set in their ways. They weren’t interested in making many changes to their current lives unless they were guaranteed that a date might lead to a long term relationship or marriage. I would not lie or guarantee anything.
Women would respond to me asking for money. Their stories included: they were ill, a family member was ill or they needed to buy something they couldn’t afford. One women wanted a new cell phone, and after one brief conversation, she let me know that I owed it to her.
So what about my sweet spot — Latinas between 35 and 45?
Using the US-based dating sites, the Latinas I talked to were only interested in finding a Gringo who would give them financial support for their children. Or marry them so they could get a green card.
I guess I was naive. I was only looking for a date. ???
Too be continued……again…..
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