Let me give you a little bit of background on me. I was married at twenty-eight and had two daughters by the time I was thirty-two. After sixteen years of marriage I was divorced at the age of forty-four. Jump forward eleven years: My daughters are self-sufficient and at the ripe old age of fifty-five, I was ready to start dating – O.M.G. DAD IS DATING
I was looking for a female friend to accompany me to sporting events, movies, weekends in the mountains or at the beach. Maybe we could go hiking, camping or even the zoo?
Fun things. Casual things. Non-commitment things.
I’ve always preferred the company of a woman. Maybe if we clicked, there might be sex, but nothing more. I wasn’t ready to get married – I wasn’t good at marriage. Why go down that road again? I wasn’t interested in the “let’s meet for coffee” thing. No Starbucks or Dutch Bros for me. I no longer do the bar scene anymore and I don’t feel right doing the church thing – it just isn’t me.
Online Dating
A friend of mine from high school and college had tried online dating following his divorce. It seemed to work for him and he wasn’t even good with women. But he had the time to commit to the process and he looked good in photos. One of the woman even called him the “Silver Fox” — A label he will never live down.
We would meet for lunch on Sunday afternoons at a local watering hole to swap stories, share ideas and strategies. These meetings were also a good source of moral support. Our discussions were fun, tactical, often lewd; only the type of talk that two divorced men could share.
Together, we attempted to try all the sites – Match, Tinder, Bumble, Plenty of Fish, eHarmony, Zoosk, and some more that I can’t remember. It was like gambling, some systems worked, some didn’t. When a system worked you stayed with it until it dried up, then you changed course.
It was a strange time. The experience was fun, agonizing and pathetic all at the same time. Oddly, to be successful at going out on dates, it really did require strategies and database maintenance and a commitment to the process.
Our married, and long-term relationship, friends scoffed at the immaturity we displayed. Their wives and partners just thought we were disgusting. Needless to say, our children weren’t overly supportive. Who wants to know that their father is dating, let alone online?
Maybe I Got Issues?
Two major issues stood in my way.
Issue #1 = I am not interested in women my age. Maybe it was my lack of interest in marriage? Or I thought that younger women are less interested in long-term relationships? Of course, possibly I was just way overly optimistic?
I always figured that we only live once. Why not hang out with younger hotties? But not too young. My daughters were in their early twenties after all.
Issue #2 = I have a thing for Latinas. Maybe because of J.Lo or Salma Hayek or possibly others I knew growing up? To me, Latinas are beautiful, usually family oriented and would keep me on my toes. Problem — I am such the Gringo and speak almost no Spanish. Yo no hablo español ?
For me the sweet spot was a Latina between 35 and 45.
Too be continued……
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